I suppose I'm risking my readers by blogging about the same thing, but since I've had no ideas *cough cough* then this is what was on my mind. So, deal with it.
Thursday August 1st. I got my driver's permit, and that very afternoon went to parking lots and drove for two hours. next day, about fifteen minutes. Next day (that would be today) I went on the road twice, even on a big, busy, and rather terrifying intersection.
This week, seemingly unrelated, I had strings camp. Two to three hours every day of really technically difficult music (I play viola, which is AWESOME, people! Best. Section. Ever.).
The two events are actually a lot of the same thing: Taking risks, and pushing yourself. I played some of the most difficult music i've ever played, in insane things like tenth position. (That's really high and really hard). I had to put timke into it and work hard to make the music sound (somewhat) good. I had to push myself.
In driving, it's something totally new. No experience. Zilch. It was really quite scary, and when I say scary, don't take that lightly. Unlike my sister who jumps if she sees a chair in an unusual spot, I rarely am scared of anything except failure and spiders. I was scared that i would hit something, that something would hit me, or that I'd fail. I didn't, I did fine, but that's not the point. the point is that I threw myself out there in a situation I had to work hard at. To push myself.
That's a lot like writing. Sometimes you just have to work hard and keep trying, because it's something totally new. Or because you're trying something a little more difficult. Writing, driving, playing an instrument, it all takes time, and not a little courage.
I'd just like to say, keep trying. It's all worth the risk, that pit of fear bubbling in your midsection, the exhaustion, the frenzy of having a million other things to do and places to be. There's nothing like the triumph of a concert well played, or driving yourself to school, or writing a story that really impresses everyone around you. So don't give up. Because that little bit of fear can't be allowed to beat you when there's so much to gain. And so what if you did fail. You would feel terrible, yes, and you probably should let that emotion help you remember what matters to you, if you're spending your life the way you want to. But don't let it depress you, let it be a loose stepping stone, and your feet just got a little wet. With a bit of work and a bit of a risk, you can step out of the river onto another opportunity, until you reach the shore of success. It;s worth it.
~Mimi Gordon.
